Lies and Propaganda and How I Wanted to Become a Zookeeper

Today I  watched the morning  news.

I  never watch the morning news. I have far more important things to do, like sleep. But today something has changed within me, witnessing the morning news has really open my eyes to what’s important. No longer shall I wallow in ignorance, for I have now tasted the sweet nectar of knowledge. I know now that nothing is as important as the voice and opinion of the people and no place is better at giving it than the morning news. I no longer have to venture through the dangerous streets of the internet searching for comments to read. No longer must I completely skip a news article or a video to read the mind inspiring comments below.  I have found a new power source and it all starting with this life changing news story. . .

I learned many things at the moment. First, I was not aware that one must dress up, all fancy like, to enjoy what Target had to offer. It is no wonder I have no friends, they all must think that I’m strange. Second, I too wanted to offer my opinion to the world about the increase of the dollar stores in the area.  Lastly, I wanted to become a zookeeper because who wouldn’t.

I was so riveted that I didn’t notice that the commercials began to run. The next thing I knew I had an inexplicable urge to watch a Broadway play, eat a microwavable breakfast, and buy some allergy medicine. Also, I still wanted to be a zookeeper.

Suddenly, it appeared! An ad for the evening news telling me that they want to hear my opinion (yes MINE!). It was simple, all I had to do was go to their site and write my comment. If it was good enough it would appear on the evening news. I just have to make it witty and creative and awesome. Even though it was only going to be text and not a video like Debra Smith’s, it would still be on the news. Plus there is a wise proverb about words being louder than actions, or something along those lines. Anyway, I had something to look forward to on my day other than lunch.  It was going to be great!

It was a beauty! A masterpiece of comments full of truth, outrage, and correct usage of capitalization (PROBABLY). However, something was wrong. I was far from satisfied, I had much much more to say.

It was at that moment that I felt the power flowing through my veins. They, the news people guys, had to listen to ME. The fate of the evening news was in my hands, I was in control and you can bet your last piece of goat cheese that I was going to abuse that power.

I may or may not have been banned from comments section. Also, suprislingly,  my comments did not show up on the news because they are biased against my awesomeness. I didn’t care. Except for the part where my feelings got hurt and I cried. But I don’t regret it, it was a good experience.

I still want to be a zookeeper.

Have a Nice Day.

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9 thoughts on “Lies and Propaganda and How I Wanted to Become a Zookeeper

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