Johnny, That Dumb Boy

Once upon a time in a far away place called Boston, there lived a rich and handsome boy named Johnny. Well his name really isn’t Johnny it’s actually John, Johnny is a nickname or something. Anyway, Johnny had a big problem, he was extremely dense. He was so dense that light would bend around him. This also explains why some people called him dim.

Every night and right before his afternoon nap he would get on his knees and beg for a magical ogre to appear and grant him smartness and a lower density.

Which is a very dumb thing to do in my opinion because ogres don’t exist and if they did they wouldn’t grant wishes.

However, since this is just a made up story an ogre actually appeared to grant him the wish

“I will make you smart”, said the magical ogre,” if you make a hero’s journey.”

“Hmm,” thought Johnny. (Hahaha just kidding Johnny doesn’t think.)

“You must venture into the land of Detroit and get me a bag of cocaine,” proclaimed the ogre, “and I will make you the wisest and smartest man in all the land!”

“No.” Said Johnny.


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