You Probably Think You’re so Cool but You’re NOT! You’re MEAN.

I know a lot of meanie faces. A meanie face is a face that is mean.

Well its a little bit more complicated than that. It’s not really just the face that counts it’s also the body and the brains. Especially the brains, they are the meanie thoughts birthing chamber. I hope a zombie comes along and eats your meanie thought babies.

Well unless the zombie becomes mean after eating the meanie thoughts due to some scientific method called the “you are what you eat”  theory.

Except all zombies are already kind of mean because they eat brains and stuff.

Except they need to eat the brains to survive so its not really their fault.

Maybe if we sacrifice mean people brains and then when the zombies are full we can all sit down together and have tea parties. With scones. And maybe the zombies will have an English accent! They may even know where the unicorns are?!?!? THE UNICORNS!

At this point you’re probably wondering what the hell am I reading but I promise you there is a point. The zombies part is an extended metaphor or irony or onomatopoeia . Basically it’s really deep but you won’t understand because I’m such a sophisticated writer.

THE POINT!! Alright the point of this blog is that someone was mean to me today (for no reason) and if you are a mean person you should stop. Because really it’s not cool. So stop. Please.

I mean you don’t know me! You don’t know my life story and you have no right to bring me down. It hurts my sadness and madness and happiness. It hurts ALL my feeling. Plus it makes me write in this blog thing I started and blab about zombies in tea parties. The internet does not need that so just stop.

Some advice: If you are feeling mean just keep your mouth shut. There is no reason for you to hurt the world. That makes you an evil villain and they suck. Also if you (as in all the mean people of the world who are reading this) continue your meaningful shenanigans (wait meaningful is a good thing, I mean mean! Ughh I can’t mean what I mean because these words are meaningless) something worse that zombies eating your brains will happen.

I will come to your house and eat all your ice cream.

And I won’t stop.

Even if you slobber cry.

Because I believe that is the rightful punishment for your crimes and because I really love ice cream.

Have a nice day/night. See nice, not mean.


8 thoughts on “You Probably Think You’re so Cool but You’re NOT! You’re MEAN.

  1. I adore your writing 🙂 I’m thoroughly enjoying your most recent posts and will definitely look forward to future ones!!

  2. THE UNICORNS! Is having an English accent a requirment for knowing the whereabouts of those pesky unicorns? If so, I am halfway there! Now I just have to become a zombie….

    “A meanie face is a face that is mean.” XDD I think I love you.

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