It ain’t over till the fat lady sin(g)(k)s?

Ladies and gentlemen, today I have made a startling discovery that has completely changed my life around. You see, all my life I have been saying “it ain’t over until the fat lady sinks” when it is actually “it ain’t over until the fat lady sings“. For those of you who were on the same boat and thought that the fat lady fell over and sunk, I have come to inform you that the fat lady was never at risk for drowning. In fact she was at the karaoke, singing.

But let it be known that I am not here to admit defeat, rather this is a draft of rebellion. I have come to unite all my sinkers against the tyrant rule of the singers. For those of you who are neutral on this issue, I ask you to please consider the sinking side.

But why?

Nobody would ever want to be on the sinking side.

The answer is very straightforward

I mean think about it -it aint over till the fat lady sings- what does that even MEAN? It doesn’t even make sense. What does singing have to do with something being over?

According to the internet,  it references a certain opera where a certain fat lady sings at the end.You know what I’m talking about, the buxom woman with the horned helmet, spear, and shield who’s voice may or may not break  glass.  So I guess it makes sense if you really think about it.

. . .

Not really.

NO.

Sinking makes much more sense. The end is death, the fat lady isn’t dead until she sinks and suffocates in whatever she in sinking in.

I wanted to draw you all a picture to demonstrate that effect except they never say what she is sinking in. I would ask them, if I knew who they were. So I’m sure it would be just fine to assume anything we wish.

She can be sinking in water.

She can be sinking in glue, or chocolate, or gold coins.

She can sinking in air, because air is a fluid too.

But nobody dies by drowning in air!!*

And so now we have reached the ultimate reason of why you should join the sinking side; you can have extended metaphors!

air- never sink- never over

dead sea -never sink- never over

cupcakes- maybe sink- very yummy

happiness- definitely sink- maybe over but you’re happy so stop complaining

Consider this:

Motivational speaker guy: They say it ain’t over until the fat lady sinks but I say she is in air so she will never sink. It will NEVER be over! We will prevail!!

Compared to this:

Sorry excuse for a motivational speaker guy: They say say it ain’t over until the fat lady sings. So somebody duct tape her mouth shut! And surgically remove her vocal cords! It will NEVER be over! We will prevail!!

See how demeaning and violent the singing side is? I rest my case.

See you all in the quicksand.

*Please note that “sinking in air” does not mean the same thing as falling off a cliff and dying. It simply means being completely covered by air, like when your standing, or sitting, or sleeping, and you cannot die from it. Well you can but it wouldn’t be the air’s fault. It would be YOUR fault or rather the fault of guy choking you.

Think about that and have  a nice day!

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14 thoughts on “It ain’t over till the fat lady sin(g)(k)s?

  1. I am now a convert. I will fight for the forces of sink. I never realized the sings folks kicked so many puppies. Can’t have that. Sinking represents finality way better.

  2. Compelling argument, but it always has and always will be “sings.” It’s an “Are we there yet?” concept, waiting waiting impatiently for the fat lady to sing. No waiting for a fat lady to sink. Plop. Gone.

      • Your statistically suspect graph ignores one very important reality. Everyone kicks puppies. My cat kicks puppies. Einstein explained this scientifically: E=MC2 where E is everybody and MC2 is my cat too. Einstein was also heard to say at a Met production of the Ring cycle: “It ain’t over until the fat lady sings.” Are you ready to take on Einstein, too?

      • Hold on a minute . . the equation says nothing about puppy kicking, only that everybody equals your cat too. I think you got the equation all wrong:
        E(verything is over)= M(ass of fat lady)*C(ake eaten) 2 (to sink)
        Also the incident at the Met was an accident, Einstein was completely drunk and didn’t know what he was saying. He later apologized and wrote a proof explaining the science of sinking and it’s correlation with something being over. 😀

  3. I find your reasoning to be most inebriating. The answer to your dilemma can be found in one Will Smith screaming “I ain’t heard no fat lady!” in the movie, Independence Day. 🙂 Cheers!

  4. I always said sings. But did you notice the ‘said’? You’ve convinced me, I’m coming over to the other side. (’twas the graph that done it ;-))

  5. Pingback: Until the Fat Lady Sinks?! « Tis Pity He's a Writer

  6. Accusing Einstein of being drunk is really grasping at straws. When the tide turns, you’ve got to sing or swim. (I’ve dredged up an older post with a fine portrait of a fat lady singing. If you take a look, you’ll realize that, after this lady sings, it’s over, baby.)

  7. Tech star that I am, I completely fouled up my post of yesterday. It ended up sitting in my out basket like a lump of sinking fat lady. Your brilliant comment went sailing back in time to the 16th century or 2011. Would you consider sending it again? It is etched in my mind and I reproduce it here to jog your memory: Oh Mr. Daybell, not a lot of people are familiar with Opera as they are with the concept of sinking and drowning and death. My phrase appeals to the greater public while also making perfect sense. Plus I’m using math and science to prove my claims, you have no solid proof. So there!
    Sorry to clutter your comments with this note. You might want to trash it.

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