I Killed Negative Nelly (maybe)

Hello all you wonderful people!

I am oh so sorry that I  haven’t posted anything for more than a week now and I assure you that there is a good reason for it.

You see,  I’ve been on vacation!

That’s right! Vacation!

Last Thursday, I  departed for the beautiful exotic Island of I’m Sick and in Bed  and just returned from it yesterday. It was definitely a beautiful and relaxing experience.

I visited Sore Throat, Fever, Ear Infection, Throat Infection, Here’s A Headache, and then when I realized that I still had more time in the Island I swung by A Random Bloody Nose every once in a while.

It was great! It was wonderful! It was fantabulous!!

Plus on the fourth day the Island opened up a new attraction called I Don’t Know What You Might Be Allergic To But Here Are Some Random Hives. Needless to say, it was fun!

And every night the Island hosted an extravagant pity party featuring all the best of guilty fattening food! And I love those guys. The parties were so wild and crazy that I lost my voice!

Moreover,  watched lots and lots of strange YouTube videos that completely changed my life around. Including one video trying to figure out the the science of attraction. It claims that one part of attraction is having a positive and enthusiastic attitude because nobody likes a downey downer (Robert Downey jr ??).

The video taught me to speak about all my experiences  in a more positive light so everybody can love me and stuff. Also the word fantabulous is now in my conversational vocabulary storage bank. All because I want to seduce all of you! (Are you fantabulously attracted to me now?)

So even though I’m still on lots of medication it’s alright because butterflies! That’s right! They’re soo pretty and positive and positive. Except when they are all dead and stuff in those butterfly museums! (Or if they’re in your stomach, but really people why would you eat those things?)

The best part about the vacation was that I did a bunch of soul searching and found out a lot of new things about me! Like:

1) I can in fact cough up a lung

2) Blood tastes way too metallic for me to ever want to be a vampire

And . .

3)  I might not know the difference between being positive and being bitterly sarcastic

So I hope all you fantabulous people are doing well!


8 thoughts on “I Killed Negative Nelly (maybe)

  1. Ooh! I went to that island three weeks ago. It was some of the best lethargy I’ve ever experienced. I didn’t try the nosebleeds. That sounds fun. I’ll have to look into that next time.

  2. I’d wish you to get better, but I don’t want to be ruining your vacation. But maybe someday you’ll decide to re-join the boring world of moderately healthy people…

  3. Oh how I love the Random Hive ride. I take my kids on it and they puke and then we sit down at the Stomach Problems rest area. Good times…

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