Powerpoint Lectures; a history and stuff

PowerPoint lectures were invented by the board of boredom. This elite but sleep-inducing board decided to meet one day to make the world a much boring place.

“Hmm,” they said. “How can we make the universe a more boring place?

“I know!” said the vice president of the board in a monotone. “We can have PowerPoint presentations for lectures in college.”

“And we can make the rooms incubator warm and turn the lights off!” Said another member while texting his girlfriend.

“Great idea!” said the entire board as they promptly fell asleep.

And so the board of boredom went out to the world to enforce PowerPoint lectures. Sponsored by the board of naps and the board of what the heck is this class about anyway, they cornered innocent and normally enthusiastic  professors and injected them boredom. Also they gave them completely  foreign accents that you cannot understand because what the point of understanding a lecture? They also met with the board of education and forced them to adhere to their ways. The board of education, being bored of education, said sure dudes.

No one was safe.

THEY did this! Even after I said that the Statue of Liberty cannot swim.

The board of boredom was no longer a bore, they now had a purpose. They raped churches and blasted Justin Bieber songs. They also burned all nonconforming professors at the stake. Also they stoned people, which is bad.

Not cool dudes.

No one was happy. Well, except the Microsoft guy because PowerPoint is part of his company and now everyone was using it so he’s getting more money. Except that guy is so rich he probably wouldn’t notice the extra $100 million.

So yea, no one is happy.

So lets get rid of this thing, okay?

Advertisements

The elections and stuff

Politics are cool!

There is nothing I enjoy more than discussing politics, except maybe discussing politics on Facebook.  Believe it or not, I used to hate everybody who always  facebook raped me  posted  their political views. Here were all my friends having intelligent in depth political debates while I was all like “look, I’m eating a bagel”. I mean I do have a political opinion but I just never saw the need to advertise it.

This year, it all changed.

THE SQUARE FLEA GOES POLITICAL. coming fall2012

That’s right people, get excited. I realized that I can force people to listen to something they don’t want to listen to by forcing them to listen. It’s like a paradox or something. So I started commenting on some of my friends political statuses, taking the opposite side of course:

YOU’ RE OBVIOUSLY A NAZI TERRORIST IRANIAN PIRATE WHO HATES AMERICAAA.

HOW STUPID ARE YOU? OR DO YOU JUST HATE AMERICA THAT MUCH?!?!?!

That worked out great!

I got blocked. That’s nice.

Then I realized that I was missing something . . .apparently there is an etiquette that must be used when violently disagreeing with a Facebook friend. It’s called the I’m going to insult you but put on so much hearts, smiley faces, and compliments that you won’t notice, but you will notice because I’m obviously calling you a dumbass technique.

Behold:

-I have to respectfully disagree 🙂  just because Romney loves cheese, doesn’t make him the best choice for America.

-That’s fine 😀 but I don’t get how you don’t see that Obama actually stopped cancer by winking at someone who had it . I mean it’s on the news.

-You probably have a low brain cell count, it’s cute 😉 It’s probably why I love you so much ❤

-I know you love Romney but he’s a stupid lying idiot who probably doesn’t know how to add and anyone who votes for him is stupid. Love youuuu 😉

-Obama is aMuslim socialist trying to destroy the American dream, can’t believe you support that idiot who hates the USA. btw the earrings you had on today were sooo pretttyy ❤

Eventually I realized that I don’t only have to comment on other people’s statuses, I can write my own politically charged status. And I can support whoever I want!!

“We built it!” – The Republicans
“Yes we can!” – The Democrats
“Can we build it? Yes we can!” – Bob the Builder
BOB THE BUILDER 2012

BOOM!!

Success! I mean who wouldn’t support a candidate like that? Especially when the campaign slogan is BOOM!

BOB THE BUILDER. BOOM!

A wonderful night for a poem

The moon is bright and that is cool
it reminds me of lovers that love each other like school
what? that doesn’t make sense you say
ok

There is a little house in the woods
its full of lots of things and stuff
also things
and it loves like a wondering moon
it loves like turkeys singing at noon
also spoon, soon, and prune

Oh! cries the bear in flight
If only you knew about Santa’s delight
but you don’t and that’s too bad for you

I like cheese