Rumer Has it.

Once upon a time, a long long time ago, there lived a girl who was going to write a wonderful post today. It was going to be wonderful and awesome. There was going to be action, romance, and comedy. It was going to be so good that everyone in the kingdom would love her and maybe get her a cake?

But guess what? She didn’t write a wonderful post. She was going to but alas an ogre and five zombies attacked her and she had to go to the hospital.

In other news, this is Rumer Willis:

She’s an actress, which is cool I guess.

But I have a serious problem with this woman. Actually,googling her image showed me that a lot of people had a problem with her, but that’s mostly because they were being mean about her face.

That’s not my issue.

My issue is her name. WHY WOULD YOU NAME YOUR DAUGHTER RUMER?? HMMMMM??

Dear Demi Moore (her mother) and Bruce Willis (her father),

WHY WOULD YOU NAME YOUR DAUGHTER RUMER?? HMMMMM??

AND WHY RUMER WITH AN “E”?? HMMMMM???

Sincerely,

ME

They never answered my letter but that’s only because they knew. Oh yes, they knew that I would find out on my own. . .and today I did.

Today this happened:

And that’s repeated, over and over again.

In my head that’s all I can see. That Rumer Willis has IT. What is IT?? What does she have on Adele.

What IT can possibly be:

1) The heart from the previous lyric line.

2) Your love anymore.

3) That thing that people do sometimes when they go to that place with those people?

4) What a presidential candidate needs (according to the news)?

4) Something else.

If you have any ideas please let me know! Because this girl has got no clue.

Challenge status (what’s this?): Day 4 (just made it!)

Johnny, That Dumb Boy

Once upon a time in a far away place called Boston, there lived a rich and handsome boy named Johnny. Well his name really isn’t Johnny it’s actually John, Johnny is a nickname or something. Anyway, Johnny had a big problem, he was extremely dense. He was so dense that light would bend around him. This also explains why some people called him dim.

Every night and right before his afternoon nap he would get on his knees and beg for a magical ogre to appear and grant him smartness and a lower density.

Which is a very dumb thing to do in my opinion because ogres don’t exist and if they did they wouldn’t grant wishes.

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Lies and Propaganda and How I Wanted to Become a Zookeeper

Today I  watched the morning  news.

I  never watch the morning news. I have far more important things to do, like sleep. But today something has changed within me, witnessing the morning news has really open my eyes to what’s important. No longer shall I wallow in ignorance, for I have now tasted the sweet nectar of knowledge. I know now that nothing is as important as the voice and opinion of the people and no place is better at giving it than the morning news. I no longer have to venture through the dangerous streets of the internet searching for comments to read. No longer must I completely skip a news article or a video to read the mind inspiring comments below.  I have found a new power source and it all starting with this life changing news story. . .

I learned many things at the moment. First, I was not aware that one must dress up, all fancy like, to enjoy what Target had to offer. Continue reading