I am the AMERICANEST

There is this game that’s been going on for a while. It’s actually really fun.

It’s called “You’re not even American so get out of my country!”. This game is probably the most popular game in America!

Politicians play it,  old people play it, young people play it, and even those people that live across the street play it. All you have to do to start the game is to accuse someone with different ideology, background, or fingerprint of not being an American.

It goes like this:

You’re not even American!

Just saying that is UN-AMERICAN so that means you’re not even American!!

Oh yea?? Well I’m 1/8 Native American

Oh yea?? Well I’m a firefighter and I have a pet bald eagle!

Oh yea?? Well I’m a Marine and I’m a direct descendent of George Washington!!

Oh yea? Well EVERYONE in my family including my 5 year old sister is a Marine AND I have 6 kbillion American flags at home”

Oh yea???

YEAHHH

WELL I SING THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER IN THE SHOWER

WELL I’M A NAVY SEAL!!!

YOU’RE A LIAR!! THERE ARE NO FEMALE NAVY SEALS!!!!!!!!!

WELL I’M SOO AMERICAN THAT I BECAME ONE!

WELLLLLLLLLL I’M SOOOOOOOOOO AMERICAN THAT I’M ENGLISH!!!!

. . . .

oh shoot. I meant like my ancestors came from England on the Mayflower . .

Nope . .

Soo that means I’m like a super American because I’m English . .

Nope . .

. . . . damn . . .

I WINNN! NOW GET OUT MY COUNTRY!

This game is awesome and I encourage all to play!

Not American-o?

NO PROBLEM-O. Try the cool spin-off game “God hates you, so go die!”. This game is very fun to play with people who have different religions or a different sexual orientation. Moreover, this game is suitable for ALL age groups so you can even play with children. Because why not?? It will teach them very important life values or something.

Happy playing!

Challenge status (what’s this about?): DAY 23

BREAKING NEWS: Kristen Stewart Smiles

This is a true story guys. Here is proof:

That’s a real picture! No Photoshop at all because I don’t even know how to use that thing (can someone teach me?). Also I doubt it’s a doppelganger of her standing there smiling in front of murdered zoo animals.

That means Kristen Stewart actually smiled.

WOW

Can I get a hurray from everyone for that?

I really think I should become one of those news people who write articles about important issues in the world. As you can see from above, I’m obviously very good at it.

Did I tell you that the dress she’s wearing is the same dress that some other girl who does films wore too?  Did I throughoutly confuse you with my confusing sentence structure and general randomness?

Good.

Because Syria and then there was a UFO sighting and congress. That movie that you didn’t know existed did terrible in (on? inside of ?) the box office and look a sport team did something.

I think you should all abandon your news sources and just come here for information. And if you don’t have a news source then congratulations because now you do. I am reliable, fair and balance, detailed, extremely organized, and very very attractive (we can pretend).

Everyone knows that people who didn’t know “throughoutly” was not a word until a red squiggly line appeared under it when they wrote it on their blog post are very trust worthy, newsy (write about news very well), attractive, awesome, and attractive.

That is an example of a confusing run on sentence, also known as rambling. (Ramblings are very important when it comes to being newsy.)

I will give you the information that you NEED to know!

Unicorn sightings!!

Parachute making!!

War and stuff and things that you should know but I won’t talk about because I can show you a recipe!

Fires and atomic bombs!

Massive bird genocide by a girl in New Jersey!

I even have a motto/slogan: Come to this site it has news!

 

Challenge status (what’s this about?): Day 11