Let’s (try to) Play a Game: Why my Categories Suck.

My categories suck. Just look at them:

Now look at them with numbers:

Do you see that? Disgusting.

Look at it! A 2 and a 1 and then a 14? Terrible, absolutely terrible. You must all be recoiling in disgust by now.

These are the suckiest categories that ever sucked. They are so sucky that if you looked up the word “sucks” you would find that it says :

  1. in.
    That is worthless. :  This meat loaf is terrible. It sucks.
Dictionary of American Slang and Colloquial Expressions by Richard A. Spears.Fourth Edition.
THE END
But wait, I have to explain why.

But I don’t want to.

 

But I should because its the title of this post. You see I have been “tagged” by one J. Todd Hubbard and now I’m “it”. This means that I’m forced at gunpoint to answer the question. Now I’m sure that Mr. Hubbard is a nice man and probably tries to pay his taxes and I already know that he’s very funny, but when it comes to his questions there is no funny business allowed.

Now I gave him many reasons as to why I do not play these games:

1) Ann Archie hates rules and this game has lots of them.

However, he refused to listen to my reasons and so here we are.

My categories suck because they are not doing what they’re suppose to be doing. It’s like having a employees that don’t do their job or a cake that’s not awesome. I mean come on, I have a category called Funny Stuff (maybe) EVERYTHING I WRITE IS FUNNY STUFF MAYBE. Then I have categories that I only made for one or two posts and have no intention of using again. Also, Thoughts and Things?? That’ my entire blog!

Now I’m a person who knows how to be organized, I might not always be but when I must I can be. Let’s call it potential organization (I’ll  put it on my resume).

So watching this train wreck of an attempt to organize my blog makes me want to run out to the rain and cry dramatically. Moreover, what’s up with WordPress not letting us rename categories or delete them or is that me just being an idiot?

Either way my categories still suck and I hope that this ramble of words did some kind of explaining.

[Thank you Mr. Hubbard for this post idea, you may now remove the gun from my head]

Challenge status (what’s this about?): Day 6

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Rumer Has it.

Once upon a time, a long long time ago, there lived a girl who was going to write a wonderful post today. It was going to be wonderful and awesome. There was going to be action, romance, and comedy. It was going to be so good that everyone in the kingdom would love her and maybe get her a cake?

But guess what? She didn’t write a wonderful post. She was going to but alas an ogre and five zombies attacked her and she had to go to the hospital.

In other news, this is Rumer Willis:

She’s an actress, which is cool I guess.

But I have a serious problem with this woman. Actually,googling her image showed me that a lot of people had a problem with her, but that’s mostly because they were being mean about her face.

That’s not my issue.

My issue is her name. WHY WOULD YOU NAME YOUR DAUGHTER RUMER?? HMMMMM??

Dear Demi Moore (her mother) and Bruce Willis (her father),

WHY WOULD YOU NAME YOUR DAUGHTER RUMER?? HMMMMM??

AND WHY RUMER WITH AN “E”?? HMMMMM???

Sincerely,

ME

They never answered my letter but that’s only because they knew. Oh yes, they knew that I would find out on my own. . .and today I did.

Today this happened:

And that’s repeated, over and over again.

In my head that’s all I can see. That Rumer Willis has IT. What is IT?? What does she have on Adele.

What IT can possibly be:

1) The heart from the previous lyric line.

2) Your love anymore.

3) That thing that people do sometimes when they go to that place with those people?

4) What a presidential candidate needs (according to the news)?

4) Something else.

If you have any ideas please let me know! Because this girl has got no clue.

Challenge status (what’s this?): Day 4 (just made it!)

It’s “Let’s sleep in random places today” Day

If you ever wanted to sleep in random places and make a fool of yourself then today is your day!

Because guess what people?  I officially made today “Let’s sleep in random places today” day!

Why?

Because ladies and gentlemen, this is how I spent last night:

Lalala la la. Hmmm I should probably do some work and I definitely need to study. . . but wait! I MUST first check my oh so very important email that I haven’t checked for five minutes, I could have gotten that internship or an email from WordPress saying “hey, you’re like the best blogger ever” or “new comment please moderate”.  So email! Yeaa. . .

The Yahoo front page puts me in a serious pickle, I must carefully choose my path.

No way! That has to be the best news story ever! How dare a penguin bite someone who loves America so, it must be a terrorist. Also Gingrich? I love that guy! I used to think he was terrible guy because I thought his name was the Grinch (the one who stole Christmas) but now I realize that he is actually a giant marshmallow come to life and who doesn’t love marshmallows? Also penguins. I HAVE to read the article and know what happened! Yes the penguin bit him but then what?

But NO!

I’m not suppose to be doing that.

Back to work , missy.

So then I went back to work.

THE END

(Just kidding.)

So I clicked on them.

YEP all of them and they were all terrible, I read them anyway. Well except the last one, because it was a video and you can’t read them. Moreover, it’s a video that does this:

It was at that point that the status of this video went from meh I’ll watch it to I NEED TO WATCH IT TO SURVIVE! So I slapped the screen. Five times.

I yelled at the screen.

I threatened the screen.

I made a toast and Nutella sandwich.

And when I came back I did what every normal person would do in that situation; I went on YouTube to search for that video because hey it might work there. However, YouTube decided to not have the video because hey why make life easy. So I yelled at YouTube. I slapped YouTube ten times. I made another Nutella sandwich.

I don’t know how it happened. Even now, 24 hours later,  I can’t tell you. It started out with babies eating lemons to baby squirrel to cute bunny eating carrot and 3 hour later I found myself here:

I have been obviously YouTube roofied and apparently I wasn’t the only one.

It was a wake up call. No more shenanigans! I must study!!

But first:

That’s disgusting! I don’t want to see that! Right?

Of course you don’t.

. . .

CLICK

OH GOD!

What’s wrong with me? I have reached the weird part of YouTube and willingly watched a video called “Hippo gets explosive diarrhea”. What have I come to? I would have never searched that up on my own (mostly because I can’t spell diarrhea)! I’m a sick twisted person! Well, I kinda did it for science, the science of explosive diarrhea. Right.

After judging the other 2,786,094 people who watched the video (probably not for the righteous sake of science as I have) and shaking my head at them vigorously I closed up my browser and shut down my computer.

Also it was dawn.

This is why today was “Let’s sleep in random places today” Day. I celebrated by sleeping on a park bench, students lounge, class, grass, class, the bus stop bench, and class. Plus, since they say I can do anything if I believed, I believed in sleeping while standing up and I did it. So congratulations to me!

But seriously, I’m sleeping early tonight (by midnight).

Seriously. Except . . .oh wait, I need to do my work and I definitely need to study. My assignment is probably on my email, I better open that up.

Well hello there Yahoo.

Challenge status: DAY 1

DIY: Punch Someone in the Throat

Hey Everyone!

Have you ever seen those cool action movies where the bad guy gets punched in the throat and thought to yourself I wish I can do that! ? Well guess what? Punching people in the face or throat is not only reserved for cool looking fit guys with fake tans, you can do it too! As the title suggests, this tutorial is going to show you how you can punch someone in the throat.

I first saw this tutorial when I saw this guy getting punching in the throat in the street a while ago, and thought it was a fantastic idea. It’s an easy cost effective way to deal with annoying people or potential super villains. I tried it over the weekend and had so much fun perfecting the process and now I will share all my secrets with you.

To punch someone in the throat, you will need:
-Your arm
-A throat to punch (preferably not your own)
-A unique sound effect to make while punching ( You can go with the classic “ahh” or you can get creative and shout “blaka blaka” or “rootabaga!!!”)

Step one:

Raise your arm using the up arm muscles, the side arm muscles, and the kind of side but more down arm muscles.

Step two:

Make a very unattractive face and make a fist.

Step three:

Aim the fist at the opponent’s throat and begin preparing mouth and tongue for potential sound effect release.

Step four:

Release the sound effect and fist and let physics take its course.

Step five:

Run the hell away before the cops come.

And remember if you accidentally punch at the wrong angle and end up hurting yourself, don’t cry in front of the person you were going to punch. It’s not a good idea. Also don’t blame me for your inadequate punching.

So there you have it – a perfect punch to the throat from your muscles! The more you do it, the better you’ll get and the most likely you will go to jail.

I hope you enjoyed this DIY and keep a look out for my upcoming DIY in the future.

Johnny, That Dumb Boy

Once upon a time in a far away place called Boston, there lived a rich and handsome boy named Johnny. Well his name really isn’t Johnny it’s actually John, Johnny is a nickname or something. Anyway, Johnny had a big problem, he was extremely dense. He was so dense that light would bend around him. This also explains why some people called him dim.

Every night and right before his afternoon nap he would get on his knees and beg for a magical ogre to appear and grant him smartness and a lower density.

Which is a very dumb thing to do in my opinion because ogres don’t exist and if they did they wouldn’t grant wishes.

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