Where I discover that I don’t know how to be a sellout

Yesterday, I decided to become a sellout to get more views on my blog and become rich and famous.

Wait.

That wasn’t yesterday . . . that was 8 days ago!!

Damn time machine. I thought I turned it off.

In other news, I don’t know how to be a sellout.

First I was like my sellout idea is great! I will be rich and people won’t like me! Then I was like eww do I really want to be a Snookie? And then I was like yeahhhh I doo! Afterwards I wondered if sellout is one word  or two. Then I googled it. Somehow I ended up in a royal Persian cat selling site and so here we are, 8 days later.

Did you know that if you don’t write anything for 8 days you get something called ZERO views?

Did you know Mt Everest is located in Nepal?

Did you know my time machine goes only forwards and not back except for that time that I banged my head and thought I was 4?

Did you know that the are 3 royal Persian kittens available as of 6 days ago?

Hitler Cat? Is that you?

I just can’t make this up people.

Back to the topic at hand (Ha like there is one), I need to change my tune to become more popular. So I decided (another one of my decisions oh boy!) that I will mimic the most popular website ever!

 

GOOGLE.COM!!

I have to become a search engine!

Just type your searches in the comment section and I will google them and get back to you!

. . .

Somehow I don’t think this will make me popular, or make me any money.

Let try this again:

I HAVE NAKED PICTURES OF EVERY CELEBRITY IN THE WORLD, THAT’S RIGHT EVEN THE GUY WHO SAYS THAT ONE WORD IN THAT ONE FILM. IF I GET 100000000 LIKES BY TOMORROW I WILL POST THEM AND SUCH.

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