If I was ever to be arrested and interrogated it would be for this . .

The ridiculously bright light was shining on my face and burning my eyeballs. Kind of like how I burned my eggs this morning.

“Where were you at 9 AM this morning?”

“At home, burning my breakfast eggs.”

“Where were you at 9:30 AM this morning?”

“At home, eating a Nutella sandwich.

“DO you like muffins?”

“Of course I like muffins!”

“And you swear all this is true?”


“I can’t hear you, speak up!”

“ahhhh wahhhh I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I’m a terrible person! I lied! I lied!!”

“About what?”

“A-about the 9:30 Am I-I wasn’t eating a Nutella sanndwwichhhh.”


“I was at home, eating Nutella straight out of the jar.”

“Oh my God, you’re ridiculous!”

“I’m sorry! I’m soo sorryyy!!”

“Ughh forget it! Do you know the Muffin Man?”

“The Muffin Man?”

“The Muffin Man! Do you know the Muffin Man?”

“Hmmm who lived on Drury Lane?”


“Yes, I know the (muffin man) . .”

“The Muffin Man?!?!?”

“The Muffin Man! Yes I know the Muffin Man who lives on Drury Lane.”

“Did you kill the Muffin Man?”

“Ummm I ate him. Is that like the same?”

“YES!! You are now GUILTY OF MURDER!”

“Oh, sorry.”

“SORRY??!??! Really?!?!? You killed the Muffin Man and that’s all you can say?!? THINK OF HIS CHILDREN!!”

“I did! That’s why I ate them too, so they don’t miss their dad.”

Life in prison is fun.